A millennial moves out to the drive-only suburbs of traffic jams and franchise eateries and realizes that he made a mistake. The Charlotte Five brings us the hourly details, which may indicate that this area has problems appealing to young adults. “South Charlotte, while certainly a very safe and popular community, is driving me crazy,” he says.
11 a.m. Working a later-than-normal shift has usually been a perk for me as I miss a lot of rush hour traffic. Not in south Charlotte, however! I painstakingly try to merge onto Providence so I can trek home but a series of 400 minivans and SUVs plow through lights ranging from green to yellow to “HOW DID YOU NOT JUST GET INTO AN ACCIDENT?”
11:15 a.m. Witness the usual line of 25+ cars wrapped around Chick-fil-A and spilling into the street as every soccer mom in the city has decided this is the only place to provide their children with sustenance every weekday afternoon.
6:30 p.m. As I prepare to head home, I make a note to myself to stop at the Harris Teeter near work as I am absolutely, positively certain that the Cotswold location is going to have a “Mad Max”-esque battle scene in the parking lot.
7:30 p.m. Arrive home and am immediately greeted by a gang of 8 year olds on Razor scooters darting in, around and possibly under (?) my car as I try to park. Grit my teeth and wave.
8:45 p.m. We decide to order from Postmates and embrace laziness. Lo and behold, however, the old $3.99 specials and meal deals readily available to people living in Plaza are not as common here in south Charlotte, where everything is just far enough away to not be considered nearby.
10 p.m. We are eating Jack in the Box tacos in the car because there is an odd amount of poorly planned construction making Sharon Amity impenetrable from the parking lot.
10:15 p.m. I ask if perhaps we should go out for a drink somewhere else but am met with a cold stare and the sobering realization that there’s nowhere else to really go at this point.
11 p.m. Flip through old Facebook pictures of past nights out in Plaza Midwood: Eating at Three Amigos, having a High Life at Elizabeth Billiards, walking to Legion Brewing. Spent the rest of the night in a state of whimsy and nostalgia while the endless stream of honking and revving engines lulls me to sleep, with the hope that perhaps tomorrow this nightmare will have ended.
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